CALA News & Views | Issue 52 | Workforce

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LEVERAGE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TO INSPIRE TEAMS AND DRIVE RESULTS

1 Tell stories rich with emotion. Brain research provides an interesting look at the way people connect on a neuro level. When two people are communicating using stories that are rich in emotional context, their brains “couple” and both experience a rush in neurochemicals. By being comfortable using emotional expression, you will increase your ability to hook people to your message and enroll them in your ideas. 2 Adapting to their communication style. By using the EQ skill of empathy, you can observe and identify the preferred communication style of others. Some are formal and reserved and want meetings that are scheduled, organized and come with a pre-shared agenda. Others are spontaneous and casual and respond best to unplanned brainstorming or problem solving. Knowing your own preferred style first is important because it is likely the way you approach others without realizing it. Try taking the opposite approach that may not come naturally and see the difference it makes. 3 Being present. It is very easy to be distracted by the number of tasks, interruptions and technology tools that steal our attention. Clearing your mind before interacting with others allows you to focus on the person in front of you. Using self-awareness to recognize your emotional state helps you to better connect your mood to your behaviors, and alert you if those behaviors are having a negative impact on someone else. Also, if people know you will be fully present with them, they will be more likely to feel meetings with you are productive. Paying attention also helps you better read others and understand what they care the most about. If you want to reach a mutually beneficial outcome, knowing this helps you be a better negotiator. This executive director used storytelling as a powerful way to teach and coach her associates. She focused on the communication techniques that her direct reports responded to best. And instead of being impulsive, she used self-management skills to think before rushing to action. You can focus on the three Rs of EQ: Recognizing , Reading and Responding and use these techniques to help yourself build more accountability and influence. g Jen Shirkani is a nationally recognized speaker and author on the topic of emotional intelligence, she has worked with senior living providers nationwide since 2001 and has been a featured speaker at CALA since 2004. She is the author of Ego vs EQ and Choose Resilience , guides for leveraging the power of emotional intelligence.

O ne day, an executive director was told by a member of the dining services team that there was a 3-year old in the kitchen office, that she was the daughter of the executive chef and the child had been coming to work with him all week. They reported that she had been well behaved and hadn’t caused any problems. Nonetheless, it was against the organization’s policy, so the executive director knew she had to address it. Her first reaction was shock that someone would think that was appropriate to do and her instinct was to prepare a disciplinary action to bring with her to meet with the chef. But she stopped and reflected for a moment and decided first to gather some information before jumping to action. When asked what was going on, the chef acknowledged his error in bringing his daughter to work, but the reason was because he had lost childcare for the week and his wife was out of town caring for a dying parent. He explained that the kitchen was already short-staffed, and they had several extra events and tours on the schedule for the week, so he didn’t want to call out and leave the team even more under-resourced. It was a situation with less-than-ideal options and the executive director could tell the chef’s intentions were in the right place. Instead of moving straight to discipline or criticizing him, she instead listened with empathy. She was reminded of a similar dilemma she faced as a young leader many years earlier and shared that with him. Together they discussed other ways to problem solve in tough situations. She did end up documenting his infraction, but he understood why and felt better equipped for future situations. Leaders who demonstrate emotional intelligence Recognize their strengths and weaknesses and they are in touch with their own moods and how they are affected by them. They also Read others. They maintain social awareness to learn what someone needs and plug into them to gain understanding. They also Respond appropriately, customizing their responses to the person or situation they are in using interpersonal adaptability. The good news about emotional intelligence (EQ) is it is a set of skills that can be measured and learned. It has a higher impact on workplace success than intelligence (IQ), personality or even technical skills. By focusing on this critical skill set, leaders can increase their influence with employees, residents and family members. By using a few self-aware behaviors, you can use emotional intelligence to increase your influence by following three simple tips:

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